My Brain on Decision Making

We make thousands of decisions every day. Thankfully, most happen automatically. But there are some decisions that we can’t put on auto pilot. Consider, what to do with my life after high school? What career path to pursue? Should I get married to this person? These decisions have high stakes but that don’t fret. If you have a good grasp on a few things, decision making can feel less anxiety provoking and more power assuming!

The first thing to realize when you are making a big decision is that things will happen, more information will become available and your decision might change. When we can go into most situations understanding this, things feel better. For example, choosing a college is hard when you haven’t been to college. Will it feel great to get to college and feel right at home? Of course. Is it ok if that doesn’t happen and you have to reassess? Yep!

So, once you accept that the only thing consistent in life is change, get to work identifying the key elements of good decision making. First, and foremost, you need to understand yourself. Namely, what you value, what you are interested in and what are your deal breakers. This is tough work but resources are out there. Talk with friends and family about yourself. What are the attributes they give to you? Do you agree? Think about how you like to spend your free time. Do you feel the best at home with a book or out with friends? Do you enjoy science fiction or romantic dramas? Put these things on paper. Start to notice patterns. Do you value family time? Community service? Autonomy? Achievement?

Now, name various options you have. For college choice, name schools that feel like a good fit or that your counselor has recommended. Talk with a variety of people and start to gather stats about the college. Worry less about the name and consider some of the following: is this a big, small or mid size school? What are the clubs and activities they offer that you might join? What do they offer in terms of career services? If you are struggling, what are the resources you can access? Is this a drive from home or a plane ride? Are you going to have some culture shocks if you chose to go far away or move to a big city or small country town?

Next, compare your options and what you know about yourself. Try not to pick a school because the campus looked pretty or your best friend is going. But those could be bonus aspects. Narrow your choices if there are more than two or three.

Once narrowed, take some action. This might be a visit, a phone call or an application. If you were interested in a career field, it would be informational interviews or job shadowing. Get your hands into this in some meaningful way and revisit your self-discovery options.

Ideally, this process will both expand and narrow your decisions. The idea is to gain insight and also begin the process of excluding decisions that are a poor fit. Write it all down and repeat steps that feel unclear. Ask for help and feedback from someone you trust that has the least stake in your choice. If needed, use a decision making guide, like the one I have created here.

Although big decisions are rarely easy, they can be handled with intention and that can bring some peace to any choice.

Stay curious!