I Dropped Out - Now What?
Maybe you stumbled on this post because you are really pondering the idea of leaving college. Or maybe, you have already taken the leap. During my time in college and career counseling, I’ve seen a lot of students (and their families) that just decided their school of choice was no longer a good choice for them. Some were relieved, some ashamed and others felt defeated. It’s difficult to make a plan, execute the plan and then have the plan fall apart. But, the good news is, you survived! And now what? Consider the following as you gather up the pieces and get ready for your next move.
You don’t need to be defined by this experience: Hopefully, you are finding support from friends and family, but let me also remind you: you are not a failure for making this decision. Many students are not successful during their first stint at college. Yes, you need to take some ownership of your role in it. My guess is, you are already doing that, though. Maybe you have a little voice telling you all of the ways you are failing. The trick is to talk about this out loud. Tell someone you trust some of the negative things happening. Write them down. Now, go back and start writing some concrete statements about ways you could learn and try something different. Failure is our biggest teacher but only if we are truly willing to be students. Own the things that didn’t go well and start being rational. “You’re a terrible person” will not help but “You really need to work on my time management skills” will.
Get some career exploration help. Likely, you went to college with some insight into your general career path. But something happened. Either you didn’t do well in the classes needed for a specific degree or you just didn’t like them. When you have this type of set back, you’ll need more than online assessments (although all self-exploration is great). Explore opportunities for classes in your area. Your community college is a great place to start but other organizations may help, as well. If you can afford it or have good insurance, seek out a counselor or coach that specializes in life transitions and self-discovery. Many community programs and non-profits also offer free career services or mentorship programs to help you get started and focused.
Work on those executive functioning skills. Executive functioning is a term we use to discuss the skills around self-control and flexibility. These are critical to problem solving, decision making and self-discipline. But they are skills and need to be learned. If you struggled to get yourself out of bed and off to class, work on getting better. Buy an alarm clock, read articles or books, or get professional help. Realize that all of our brains work differently. When you know this about yourself, you can find tricks that work for you. The first step is naming the tool you need and then getting to work on sharpening that skill.
Get to know the world of work. Whether you want to take classes or do the work outside of the classroom, set some goals around career research. First, consider your values and what type of career will fall in line. Look up some ideal jobs on a search engine. Write down the specific skills you need for that job. How could you gain those skills? School is an obvious choice but are there other ways? If every job requires a Bachelor's degree, make a plan to get one even if that means taking a semester off to save money before returning. If you don’t need a degree, is there a certificate or other training option that makes more sense. What needs to happen to do this - create a list of things to research and do.
Be honest. Throughout my professional experience and within my personal life, I have found one secret that has been the biggest indicator of my success: my capacity for honesty. We are constantly exposed to other people’s opinions - often because they want our time and money - that we don’t take enough time to be honest about what makes us happy and connected. This work can be uncomfortable at times, especially if it is incongruent with some of these messages you have heard your whole life. But once you start opening yourself up, you will start to realize the value and worth in your truth and people will naturally respect your decisions.
Make a plan. Take everything you have learned and write down what you want to accomplish in the next month, week and day. Micro-organize so that the tasks are small and quick. This will leave you feeling productive but not overwhelmed. For example, if you want to enroll at a new college, your goals might be: research and select three schools, write down deadlines for applications, research majors and select top 3, interview three people with similar interests. Instead of a long to-do list, actually insert small portions of these tasks into a time slot during the day. It’s much harder to procrastinate when you have a dedicated time.
You might not have succeeded in this recent endeavor. You get to decide how to look at it: a toxic event you want to forget about or a lesson in what works for you and a catalyst to make some much needed changes in your life. Adulthood will be full of failures and lessons. It will be up to you how to proceed. Ask for help, open yourself up to new experiences and let your fundamental truths guide you on this exciting journey of self-growth. If nothing else, you have a great topic for your next college entrance essay: How my failure became my catalyst.
Stay curious.
P.S. Want more clarity around your decisions? Check on out the free “Should I Change my Major?” guide to walk you through any tough but important decision!
